Football vs. Wind: NFL Week 10
Screengrab from games this weekend
There were a lot of winners and incredible plays in week 10 of football, but no one claimed the day like the villain of the week, WIND.
Katrina and I have a long and storied history of being Anti-Wind, and are thrilled to know that most teams will now be supporting our no-wind policy. Seriously though, the commentators could not get enough of this whole “weather” concept. Extra points were missed (@Patriots) Footballs were blown from their tee (@Steelers) Games were delayed (@Cleveland). Ponchos were worn(@Who else, Bill Belichick).
In the games we did not watch (partially because of regional TV rules partially due to attention span), Tua notched his third straight win as a starter (mostly thanks to a stellar Miami defense, which is propelling them to…dare we say it…success?!?!?!), Tom Brady made up for getting pummeled last week, the Lions alllllmoooostt pulled an Atlanta but squeaked out a 3pt. win, and Russell Wilson isn’t as hot as everyone thought he was (or, more accurately the Rams have a great defense, and the Seahawks have zero pass rush), and the Broncos still suck. In the games we DID watch:
Giants 27 Eagles 17
Katrina refused to watch this game because the Boyfriend referred to it as “New York Trash”. Well baby I AM NEW YORK TRASH, and I had already committed to the sports thing by wearing socks that said “Game Day”, so I tuned in. And boy was I shocked to see the Giants….play well??? and then also…WIN?!?!? Granted, Carson Wentz (Pete Wentz’s brother, yes I will make this joke every time) has like approximately one million turnovers, but still! I would say there could have been more scoring in the middle of the game, because I left for a half hour and came back to an UNCHANGED score, but this just further supports our claim that everything is rigged (WAKE UP SHEEPLE). The whole 2-minute drill thing? Teams will pull out a TD Drive in like 1 minute of time and yet we have to watch them play for an HOUR!?!?! Rant over, but @NFL we will be awaiting your response. Anyhow, Daniel Jones did some running and managed to not trip over his own feet, leading the NY Post to refer to him as “ascending”. And people say astrology is fake smh! Personally I’m a cancer, Daniel Jones ascending, Kyler Murray moon, let me know your signs in comments!
Cardinals Bills
SPEAKING OF KYLER MURRAY (flawless transition), what a JOB he did this week. Normally we don’t support commentator dumb nicknames and cold takes, but they do love to refer to this yung qb’s plays as “Murray Magic” and “Murray Moments” and I must cave to the alliteration. This was an excellent game honestly, and I demand every week to be this thrilling. The Bills lead most of the game, but made dumb mistakes (including 2 turnovers, whoops!), and really THOUGHT they had a game winning TD when Josh Allen threw probably his best pass ever to Stefon Diggs with just :39 left on the clock. But you know what they say: Never Count Out Cardinals. Ok no one says that but if Kyler Murray is your QB, you could probably start. He threw a hail mary, or, as the kids are calling it now, a Hail Murray to DeAndre Hopkins (remember him??? We kept telling you about him?) who caught the 43-yd pass for the win, despite being surrounded by 3 defenders. With ONE SECOND left on the clock!!!!! It was incredible!!! I love football now!!!
Steelers 36 Bengals 10
From Katrina: No one asked, but this game was the result of the hypothetical question “what happens when the worst team in the division plays the best”-oh, exactly what we thought? k great wish I had known, would have saved me 3h of my life. The aforementioned wind was a real showstopper here, at one point blowing the mic off of the ref (hilarious!!). The game also provided a great opportunity to play our NFL Drinking Game as it starred veteran QB “Big Ben” vs NUMBER ONE DRAFT PICK JOE BURROW. Drink every time these words or some variation are said; you will be drunk enough after the first quarter to make the rest of the game bearable. Also drink in solidarity with rookie Joe any time he gets sacked (this will be a lot as apparently the Bengals line.. is non-existant). An interesting point of the game I enjoyed was when the Bengals challenged a ruling, but then lost, thereby forfeiting at time out.Well, as the saying goes, if you never try, you’ll never know (but if you always try, then you’ll never have any time out. I think that’s the saying anyways).
Besides the wind, the story of this game was “Big Ben’s'‘ elbow because guys, I’m not sure if you heard it the first 10000 times, but he actually had SURGERY on that elbow last year and was OUT for the season. The commentators arguably followed ElbowGate closer than the actual game play- a sampling of gems included “Ok Ben’s heading off the field now… looks like he’s a little COLD on that elbow… ok now he’s putting in a compression sleeve- Right, of course Joe, very important to keep that elbow warm” and “Ben’s DOWN and…. oh boy looks like he…. might have tweaked that elbow, of course as we know that is THE Elbow”. Tbh with all the Elbow news it was tough to keep a good handle on what was going on (did also squeeze in a lil nap ;) ) but the score pretty much says it all. Steelers continue their steamroll to being 9-0!
Patriots 23 Ravens 17
Yes I stopped watching at halftime because it was windy and scary outside. But before halftime, the Patriots were not doing great and I am going to take a stab in the dark and say it is Not Cam Newton’s Fault because their defense did basically NOTHING. The star of this game was, as expected, Wind. It was low key monsooning during this game, so my hot take is that there should not be any hot takes about it. Have you ever tried running in the rain? On TURF?!? No thanks. And then miraculously it cleared up…after the Patriots won??? Seems shady to me!!! Anyway the Patriots’ Playoff hopes survive and the problematic takes about Lamar Jackson being overrated will continue. Please enjoy this photo of an unhappy, evil man, and our GIRL, the Lady Ref.
