A Title Race?
Soccer in the time of Basketball? Can you imagine?
Much to Katrina and my’s relief, european leagues will go on international break this coming week, so we can divert all our attention towards March Madness. If you’re like, what’s march madness, I’m just a simple footy fan, here to read some top notch journalism from the only people who could possibly tell me anything about soccer news, well look no further than HERE.
In the Champion’s League… As we told you last week, we’re rounding out the Round of 16 before another too-long-break before the ROAD TO ISTANBUL continues. As predicted: Bayern sailed through, as did Real Madrid (who is now the only spanish team left standing), and Man City. I actually watched the Chelsea-Atletico game, which got a little spicy at the end with a red card and some incredible Thiago Silva sideline content- but in the end Chelsea sailed through as well. Atletico, for their part, didn’t really have….any attacking strategy from what I could tell? But more on that later. This friday UEFA will do some fancy schmancy rigging at the quarterfinal draw, which we’ll update you on in…two weeks.
In the Premier League… Thomas Tuchel, the angry german vader who has whipped Chelsea into top 5 shapre (without really winning that many games?), finally caved to the constant pressure and STARTED CHRISTIAN PULISIC. ALthough I am really starting to think that Tuchel was just afraid the stubble would get out of hand. Anyway, Chelsea didn’t win and he said they “lacked goalscorers” after the game, so take all this with a lot of salt. The REAL story in the EPL this weekend was the Tottenham-Arsenal North London Derby, an exciting matchup that lived up to the hype. Arsenal played very well against their rivals, and while the Spurs fell flat for most of the match, they had what is…one of the best goals of the entire season, thanks to Erik LaMela. (It’s called a Rabona, which doesn’t really matter unless you want to sound smart, but it’s really just fancy footwork. Check it out:
In the French Ligue 1… PSG uh…lost. to Nantes of all people! They’re in 3rd to last place! AGH! They did come back and win against Lille 3-0, in the round of 16 in the Coupe de France, which is important because Lille is on top of the table. I mean, that win didn’t mean anything in the title race, and PSG is tied for points with Lyon, so things are still spicy. Lille had a draw against Monaco, and they’ll need to shape the heck up if they want to be champions.
In the Bundesliga… I learned the club Union Berlin is pronounced ooon-yun berlin and that they are surprisingly okay this season, even though they’re a team that really relies on their fans. The German National Team is looking for a new coach (theirs is leaving 3 years early in his contract, after the Euros this summer), and might try to steal Bayern’s. Bayern is running away with the title, and Thomas Mueller is…looking pretty good for his old age. At the bottom of the table, Schalke has a goal differential of NEGATIVE 50. Like… bruh. So the good news is for the other teams at the bottom: at least your not the worst!
In La Liga... we have a TITLE RACE ladies and gents, maybe our only one in these five leagues. We told you a couple of weeks ago that Atlético was on top of the table, and, don’t worry they still are, but Barça is creeping up on them. Real Madrid, in third, also could still be a contender. Barça clinched a late win this week thanks to, who else, but Messi (and grizou, our little french cutie), but other than that there isn’t a ton of news because mostly there were a bunch of draws this week.
In Série A… I finally found a Serie A podcast so I am COMMITTED to liking this league. This week, InterMilan scored a last minute goal that is the type of goal CHAMPIONS score as we say. Getting a late winner, finding a way to win, that is the shit WINNERS do. Meanwhile, the bottom of the table is full of shit winners do not do, and truly anyone could get relegated.
We’ll be back in two weeks with more soccer, until then you can find us dancing.
