As we say in hockey: Let’s go do that hockey
Welcome to the NHL Playoffs! Does it feel a little inappropriate that the weather is finally temperate and a sport that takes place ON ICE has decided to make it all about them? Yes! But if you can believe it these NHL playoffs are actually EARLY because NBC has broadcasting rights and they have about a million playoff games to finish before TOKYO 2021. So we’re doing it NOW, even if some teams are still finishing out their regular seasons, and we’re giving you a brief NOW even though the games technically started on Saturday. Come late leave early baby!
The Set Up
So, as you may or may not know, hockey playoffs do that thing where there are roughly 4 million rounds and they all happen in SERIES of like 5 or seven games. Which yes means it takes four months to award a Stanley cup. Things are a little wonky this year because of COVID and international travel restrictions (looking @ you Canada…let us IN), so the NHL was divided into 4 divisions. This will result in some WILD playoff matches that we normally wouldn’t get to see, because leagues idk fam it’s complicated. The four divisions are East, West, Central, and North (pretty easy to remember), with the North being…all of Canada. Oh, and Central includes Florida?
Us to Canada rn
Anyways, you SHOULD watch playoff hockey, because it is much more exciting than regular hockey. Last year, in the bubbles, there were like 6 overtimes in ONE GAME! Shit got wild! Shit ALWAYS gets wild, so it’s worth tuning in for. This year, the top 4 teams in each division (1 seed vs. 4 seed, 2 seed vs 3 seed), will complete in two divisional series, and then get reseeded to face off against the winners of other divisions.
The East
Ok i am sorry i know gritty is out but I could not resist !!
The East consists of: The Rangers (who just fired everyone, RIP), the Flyers (GRITTY!!!) the NJ Devils, and the Sabres— all of whom are OUT (never count Gritty out that’s a fatal mistake!!). More importantly: The Capitals (ALL CAPS BABY), the Bruins, the Penguins, and the Islanders. Not to brag, but I am basically an expert on watching the Bruins in the playoffs because I have done so at least 3 times (they did lose most of those times though…whoops). This is most likely NOT their year: they’re not as stacked as they have been in the past, and they currently are facing off against the Capitals (series is tied) who just so happened to have stolen their boy Chara. The Capitals also have Ovechkin (who just invested in the Washington Spirit, a NWSL league!! We love a supportive KING), who honestly deserves to win IMHO. The Bruins came back to win their second game (with very little time left because… IT’S MARCH! Oh wait. IT’S PLAYOFF HOCKEY!- same energy), which is GOOD but they will have to keep fighting to make it out of this contentious series. The Pittsburgh Penguins are also a strong team, with Sidney Crosby (you definitely know who he is) (do i???) leading them despite being VERY OLD. They face the Islanders, who went on a run last year in the playoffs but failed to make it all the way. Also sad news for this team because they built this whole new area to play in in Nassau (ew) and then covid happened. This division is the most tightly packed at the top, and the series to make it out of the east will be intense.
Central
Teams you don’t need to know: Blackhawks, Red Wings, Blue Jackets, Dallas Stars. Teams you probably should know: The Nashville Predators (SMASHville!), The TB Lightning (defending champs)(why does Tampa have a TEAM. trash town I stand by it!) the Canes (or, as they’ll always be to me, the Whalers), and the Florida Panthers. Tampa Bay facing off against local rivals the Panthers is a very big deal for the sport, and is definitely bringing a lot of hockey energy to Florida (do they need hockey energy?? seems like they got enough vibes going on down there almost none of them good). As established, however, we are not super pro florida (only pro miami/ mr worldwide/mr 305), so this is LESS important to us than the Canes vs. Smashville. The Hurricanes are a STANLEY CUP LEVEL team, even if they are still building, they are straight up killin it. Could they beat Tampa? Maybe! Betting odds say otherwise but it is a possibility. I do, personally, think it’s a little offensive to honor a natural disaster that frequently kills people by making it your mascot (but maybe I’m just sensitive because they STOLE THE WHALERS FROM US), and would like to root for Smashville, despite their slim chances of advancing.
North
O CANADA! You can ignore the Senators (don’t they know thats our thing?), the flames, the Canucks. But spend some time getting to know: The Montreal Canadiens , the Edmonton Oilers(and then oil spilled everywhere!) the Winnipeg Jets, aaaaand the Toronto Maple Leafs (is anyone else bothered by the fact that they are LEAFs and not leaves).The Oilers are an excellent team mostly thanks to an MVP performance by Connor McDavid, but they don’t have the depth they’ll need to go ALL THE WAY. The Maple Leafs are villains in a lot of people’s opinions, but they’re pretty much where it’s at. They’re facing the Canadiens (who are, you guessed it, from CANADA)(actually they’re more specifically from Quebec which tbh is kind of doing its OWN thing ) which is a BIG DEAL because these are two of the BIGGEST TEAMS in all of the hockey and they rarely get to face off in the playoffs. The leafs ARE the more talented team, have WAY more depth (very important in hockey because they have like 3 different lines that come in and out a lot, basically means dudes are constantly hopping on and off the ice. I am constantly afraid they’ll boof it when they jump the bench!). In the other matchup, the Edmonton Oilers are likely to take down the Jets, who have been in a slump coming into the series.
West
Who’s OUT: Sharks (noooo rip sharkies!!) Ducks, Kings, and Coyotes (what??? Where even is this team) (it’s in Arizona they’re a mess rn, KATRINA WE DONT HAVE TIME)
Who’s IN: Vegas Golden Knights, The Colorado Avalanche, the Minnesota Wild, and the St. Louis Blues.
Low key this is where all the drama is at because the Avalanche (and cutie Nathan McKinnon) should be on to and face off against the newer expansion team Vegas Golden Knights (who, have been a threat since their inception, and who hired this guy and so we DO like them despite their dumb mascot) (no we do not E we only like the sharkies.). This is a Godzilla-Kong situation, coming in. BUT the Minnesota Wild (an excellent mascot IMHO) (agree to disagree wtf is a wild) are about to Meccagodzilla all over this shit (NO spoilers). The Wild came out STRONG to beat the Knights in a double OT in the first playoff game. The Avalanche played their first match, against the blues, because St. Louis is the WEST they have a GATEWAY there to PROVE IT. The Blues just do NOT have the talent Colorado has, and, if they would like to win a game, they’re going to have to up their goaltending. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN PLAYOFF HOCKEY!!!!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all this info, the great news is hockey is pretty easy to follow and it’s very fast paced! so even newbies will get a lot out of it. (just see video above!)
