Match Report: Cold Beers > Red Bulls

The Inspo

After over a year of NO LIVE SPORTS IN PERSON, we’ve headed out from behind our computer screens and hit the pitch for a REAL LIFE MATCH REPORT! Elena and I braved the heat and the wilds (not exaggerating) of New Jersey to bring you some fresh content straight from the sidelines, like the real life sports journalists we are. However, we have been to men’s soccer games here in NYC and as they say… not great (nor cheap!). In a brilliant flash of inspiration, I checked the NWSL matches, saw that NY/NJ Gotham FC (formerly Sky Blue) was playing OL Reign (owned by OL Lyon) and was like… yo this game is going to be way better than the high school amateurs we saw at NY Redbulls/ NYCFC, tickets are 15 bucks, LEGGO.

The Trek

Now sadly, there is no NWSL team that plays within the 5 boroughs, so we had to go on an adventure to NEW JERSEY (ugh).This involved a 20 minute subway ride (obviously the 4/5 was not running on weekends, does it ever at this point), a discombobulating journey through the Fulton street station (truly, there were no signs. Shout out to Elena for being like I think I saw a path sign by the 4/5 once, and guiding us on a 10 minute walk through half of manhattan’s underground) and (FINALLY) a fun hop on the PATH train (more on that later) to Harrison, NJ, home of the Red Bulls.

Keep in mind we’re used to sick ass arenas in France like the Stade de France or Parc de Prince (yeah, we’re pretentious, no, we don’t care), so our expectations for this soccer-only stade were low (NYCFC plays in Yankee Stadium lawlz), but the area itself was pretty cool! I will say, considering they sell it as an NYC and tout how easy it is to get to, it’s kind of annoying to get off at Harrison and just be like uhhh where do I go?? oh across this giant parking lot?? cool cool cool (clearly these people aren’t NUMTOTs). Could there have been a better of a pedestrian walkway for us train commuters into the stade? Yes. We walked through a parking lot following one homie who seemed to know the way (hint: the way was towards the giant, visible arena).Then the entrances were VERY unclear and the staff was… unpleasant. Approaching the arena we were told by some random dude to “just bring that bag back to the car[as if we would ever drive lol] there are no bags inside (what is this GUANTANAMO BAY?!?!?!!?!? LET A BITCH CARRY HER TOTE!), anyway that turned out not to matter at all, we did successfully enter the MASSIVE ARENA (and immediately secured beers) which was, sadly, mostly empty. If you live in the area, please look into buying tickets! Again they are literally $15 and our seats were about 25 yards away from MEGAN RAPINOE

The Pregame

We ourselves didn’t pregame because, aforementioned trek to Jersey (I have to pee a lot ok), but once we got there, you can bet we grabbed some alcoholic beverages (see below). Instead of singing the National Anthem (which, I think we can all agree, does not slap), they started off with Bre Jackson from The Color Purple singing the Black National Anthem, which is apparently Lift Every Voice and sing (today I learned!) as part of a Juneteeth celebration. This was followed by a recorded instrumental version of the anthem during which almost all the players kneeled. Very woke!! The man behind us astutely observed that “those people in green aren’t kneeling though”. No sir, the refs don’t kneel.

The Match

NY/NJ Gotham is currently 2nd in the league right now so, yeah, they’re pretty good, but OL Reign (7th) also has some great players. The gameplay here was top notch, and I have to say, even though I guess I technically was rooting for Gotham, I was really rooting for WOMEN! And tbh that was the general vibe. It’s all about trying your best and having fun guys. In any case, a great thing about the NWSL is that pretty much any team you go see WILL have literal world champions on it. For instance, starters on Gotham include Allie Long and Carli Lloyd, and OL featured Rose Lavelle (a former Badger!) and oh yeah MEGAN RAPINOE(!!!!!!!!) who was SUPER COOL and insanely speedy! While OL tried some fanchee crosses and some excelled runs (à la Rose LaVelle, who is 90% leg), Gotham stayed ahead after a first half goal by Ifeoma Onumuna, leading them to victory.

The Beers

Of course, the beers were cold but also, expensive. They were Tall Boyes though, so I guess 14.50 for a beer and a half is not bad and they did have some good choices including classics such as Stella, Heineken, Bud light and some crafty ones like Blue Point & Allagash. For those of you who prefer cocktails (this is a BEER BLOG!!!! jk we get it), they also offered cocktails in a can (this might be a good choice if you like me cannot stop going to the bathroom) and also something called and I quote, Babé, some kind of….rose wine??? I dare not say more or else France will never let me back in.

The End

Because the Path is stupid, you can’t buy tickets in advance and we had to dip out a little early. This annoyance was compounded when the PATH stopped for, Bible, TWENTY MINUTES at one station, whereupon I had a small hissy fit and started screaming things (ex: “I AM GOING TO MURDER SOMEONE GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN THIS IS WHY PEOPLE MOVE TO JERSEY THEY DON’T MOVE THEY JUST GET STUCK ON THE PATH FOREVER” meanwhile elena was like “mhmm but it’s okay we will move soon let’s shout less maybe???”). Our fellow passengers were, shall we say, not amused! We are often a lot to handle, I cannot and WILL NOT apologize for taking up SPACE!

Despite the PATH strugs and the rude people at the arena, I really cannot recommend this experience enough. I mean, FIFTEEN DOLLARS??? SEEING MEGAN RAPINOE IN PERSON??? you can’t beat it!! Sadly, the arena was not that full and so I hope this inspires all of you to check out your local NWSL team and support women’s sports.