There Will Be Gold: Olympic Round Up
NBD, just the most decorated U.S.A Track & Field athlete in Olympic History taking a walk after her medal-winning performance. She’s our Prom Queen.
There were gold medalists, and there were DNFers. There were injuries, heartbreak, and shining moments of glory. Were the Tokyo OIympics all we hoped for them to be? Were they worth the hype? Your gals are back to break it down with some #SeniorSuperlatives for #Tokyo2020. (btw sorry for the delay but the time differences plus all of our traveling just really threw us off!! also no hate we gave you so much content and we don’t even have #sponcon!!)
Best New Kid (sport and athlete)
Skateboarding really stole the show with all the young superstars, and also because I think NBC thought we were going to win a bunch of medals so they actually covered it, whereas a bunch of other new sports (surfing, climbing) were replayed at weird times so I didn’t even see them. However, the Japanese youth (like, 12 year olds) took a bunch of medals so joke was on NBC. This was still thrilling to watch albeit nervewracking since I spent the whole time thinking they were splitting their heads open (this is why I don’t watch the X Games).
Many many athletes to choose from here, some who will be flashes in the pan, one and done Olympic-ers (see : most gymnasts), but I am going to go with someone with more staying power: 17 year old Lydia Jacoby, the first ever Summer Olympian from Alaska! Lydia overcame the twin challenges of being a ginger and training in a short course (25m) pool (since there is only one Olympic-sized pool in Alaska and it was too far from her hometown to practice in) to win GOLD in the 100m breast, out touching teammate Lily King (of finger wag fame) who won bronze. Her face realizing she won is ALMOST as priceless as the reaction of her hometown fans here.
Lily realizing she just won Alaska’s first ever swimming gold
Most Popular (boy and girl)-
Suni Lee obviously stole the show. Despite a disappointing performance on bars, her signature event, Suni shown in the All-Around after Simone Biles took a much-needed mental health break. As we all heard several times (because there’s nothing NBC likes more than exploiting personal trauma for ratings!) Suni overcame recent tragedy following her dad’s freak accident (leading to his paralysis) and also provided much-needed representation for the Hmong community (Hmong nail artists did her acrylics for the bars event). She’s also one of the first elite gymnasts to finish the Olympics… to head to compete in college (Auburn) (typically they just stop doing sports and lie down because everything hurts when you do this from age 6 on)
Kevin Durant is definitely one of the most well-known and popular athletes at these Games (and will continue to be a subject of conversation whenever the NBA starts up its interminable season). After a rocky start (to say the least), Durant and co powered through to win gold (as did our women’s team, led by Sue Bird) (and we did also win women’s 3x3, making its Olympic debut)
Most Improved
Molly Seidel (age 27) without a question. Homegirl ran a marathon for only the THIRD TIME IN HER LIFE in 95 degree heat (which is already a huge accomplishment imo) and then WON BRONZE. She only even qualified for the marathon in 2020!! In fact, Molly LED for much of the race (though the Kenyans got her in the end), finishing with the blistering time of 2:27.46. This proves there is hope for us all! Should any of you want to train and become an Olympian, I mean, you can probably do it! Not me though, at least not in this event, since running is the devil’s cardio.
Best Hair/or Nails
Clearly hair color and speed on the track go hand in hand, as the Jamaican women’s team highlighted (literally, highlighted because their hair was v bright!) As for nails, gotta give props both to the gymnasts because I didn’t know you could even DO gymnastics with acrylics, and also all the women swimmers because every country came to play with the nail art! (@Ladies: what polish do you use because the chlorine really does a number on mine!) (Wake up katrina, it’s gel. They have a manicurist @ Swim team training camp!)
Class Clown
Caeleb Dressel could have really been eligible for several of these superlatives, but the votes are in (all 2 of them) and Class Clown it is!! The breakout star of the pool, Caeleb won gold in all his events (notably the 100 free, which was the most competitive and his weakest, and he beat M*ch**l *ndr*w) and truly seemed to be out there having a ball. All of his obligated NBC content was hilarious- from visiting the bayou in florida (???) to playing the newlywed game with his wife, this guy can definitely make me smile -and also cry, as when he talked to #TeamDressel at home. But as anyone who voted for Tommy V, the true BHS Class of 2010 president, knows, sometimes a class clown is precisely the leader you need! (that joke is for one of you).
Most Likely to Succeed
Well, everyone- this is definitely a motivated class of kids! But if we had to pick one, it’d be the Harvard grad, 200m track bronze medalist, relay silver medalist, and future epidemiologist/healthcare administrator (timely) Gabby Thomas. Not only is she one the speediest as per these Olympics, she’s also stunning AND smart and is planning to focus her future studies on reducing the inequity in healthcare for the Black community!! You love to see it, can’t wait to see what she does!
Cutest Couple
This is a tie between two couples - one of which isn’t a couple in real life sadly but they are a COUPLE ON THE COURT! Continuing the US tradition of beach volleyball (BVB) victories, April and Alix spiked and set their way to gold, slapping butts (an essential part of the sport) and taking names the whole way. Only a true relationship can survive the blazing heat and typhoons of BVB, and these two had the chemistry to prove it.
Otherwise, you gotta ship Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird. These queens are truly beautiful and supportive of each other in all ways and they just make me have the teary eye emoji all the time. I’m not crying, you are.
Biggest Flirt
Tom Daley, Great Britain’s diving darling and heartthrob! Yes, I know he’s married and you know, doesn’t play for my team in more ways than one, but this cheeky lad is stealing hearts all while knitting and purling gorgeous creations in the stands. Seriously, check out his knitstagram- it’s incredible, he knit a cozy for his GOLD MEDAL. If I saw him up there smiling and knitting away, you can bet I’d hit my back somersault in the tuck position ;) (Interpret as you will!!)
Best Dressed
At the opening Ceremony: A lot of strong contenders here, and a lot of variety. Many countries go for a classic business casual vibe, with a blazer & skinny jean look à la the Jonas Brothers, many countries wear traditional garb (which, is very cool, but sometimes there are like randos competing for a country, liek this irish rower who competed for Uganda, and seeing her in the wrap was….not it), and one country is banking on their flag bearer covered in oil to just keep doing it for us (ok…he is). We’re going with Tuvalu here, because it’s GIVING.
In Sport Uniforms: Hands down, Skateboarding brought their A-game in terms of Olympic fits, which is really important in a sport that already is breaking boundaries. Board culture & the board community are all about living your authentic life baby, and we saw a variety of uniforms (even for players of the same country, which I love because it allows the players to wear what they’re comfortable in) that really embodied the spirit of the sport, even when the Olympic competition structure…doesn’t.
Most Embarrassing Moment(s)
Hard to pick only one when as we all know, high school the Olympics are an awkward time. Here’s a few that come to mind:
Anytime NBC confronted an emotional Olympian by forcing them to do a Microsoft Teams call (also triggering for me as a Teams user)
All the intense coverage around Simone pulling out of her events …like read the room guys
When any of the throwers boofed it and fouled a throw. Just v embarrassing for you!
Most Heartwarming Moment(s)
The Olympics are truly a plethora of inspo, including:
When Gianmarco Tamberi (Italy in case you didn’t guess) and Mutaz Barshim (Qatar) tied in the high jump and chose to share the gold instead of going to a jump off and then high jumped into each others’ arms for a very emotional bro hug. Tamberi missed out on Rio in 2016 after breaking his leg two weeks before the games…then came back and won gold. My whole heart!!!
When Mykayla Skinner didn’t initially make (any) finals in gymnastics, but following Simone’s scratch, was able to compete and won silver in vault at age 24 (ancient), after being an alternate in Rio in 2016.
When Hidilyn Diaz won a gold in weightlifting, rising above her difficult childhood- and pandemic training difficulties, and a lack of any funding.support- to become the Phillipines 1st gold medalist
Most Spirited
The biggest story of this Olympics was the troubles for Simone Biles. After a tough round in qualifying, Biles ended up pulling out of the team final, and most of her individual finals, with media initially stating she was injured and then later clarifying that the problem was mental. Biles then came out and shared that she was struggling with her mental health (in addition to having the twisties & losing her place in the air), and, because the tricks she does are SO INSANE, it would be v dangerous for her to try to compete if her mind and body are not 100% in it.
Barring a few idiots who saw this as their chance to feel superior to the greatest athlete in the world, most of the response to this was positive, with athletes and celebrities coming out to publicly applaud Biles’ brave choice. As they SHOULD! Simone Biles spent her childhood giving everything to the sport of gymnastics. This is her entire life. She has given hours of her time, all of her youth, and put her body on the line for Team USA over and over again, and, as we learned after the last Olympics with the Larry Nassar scandal, the USA Gymnastics org. thanked her (and the other gymnasts) by allowing them to be abused. In fact, this is one of the reasons Simone stayed on the team, because she was afraid if she retired, the scandal would be swept under the rug (again). For Simone to want to compete for Team USA at all, she is already being incredibly courageous and it is asking more of a sexual assault survivor than is fair. Asking her to do this on the world stage, creating a media frenzy around her every move, putting her up on a pedestal claiming over and over that she can’t be beat- well, all this combined is too much.
Simone Biles wins the award for most spirited because, despite all this, despite everything she has been through, she showed up for her teammates. She cheered them on. She stayed in the arena, in the stands, in her Team USA track suit, when anyone else would have (rightfully) gotten the hell out of there. Here’s hoping that Simone is able to heal, that there are real takeaways and tangible actions on behalf of athletes (in gymnastics, and everywhere), and that the conversation about mental health is one we can keep having.
A Speech from your Valedictorians:
(It’s us, we are deservedly the valedictorians of these Olympics, I don’t know if you were paying attention but we did a lot of studying and, unlike in high school where GPAs are bullshit, we make the rules here and we are naming ourselves no.1)
As the Tokyo Olympics come to a close, and we look to our futures in the Paralympics and beyond, there is a lot to be nostalgic for. It will be years before swimming is on prime time TV again, and in that time, we will lose touch with so many of the friends we have made along the way here, as athletes retire & fall out of favor.
There is so much to celebrate from these Olympics. Here at home, for Team USA, it was an Olympics of historic performances led by women. It was a narrative of gold medal match after gold medal match, and it’s easy to feel like this is the best everything will ever be, that we peaked at these Olympics and the rest of our lives are downhill.
But that’s not true! There is so much room for growth. And while these Olympics have been wonderful in so many ways (read: for all our women’s teams), in many ways, they felt like a flop! You can blame the time difference, you can blame NBC’s coverage (which, I will, because it was really trash), or you can blame COVID (another thing that is also very trash!), but one takeaway remains: we’ve got a lot more Olympics ahead of us (including Beijing in a mere 6 months!!!!!), and here’s hoping they’re better for EVERYONE- athletes from underfunded countries, athletes who are discriminated against or barred from competing, non-binary athletes, and everyone else in between. There’s still work to be done for the Olympics to live up to their “Stronger Together” mentality, and we look forward to it getting done.
Until then, we’re raising a glass to say goodbye to Tokyo 202(1): Cheers!
(insert Olympic theme here)
