Subsitutes aren’t just for soccer: KP TAKEOVER
While we’re all still recovering from the untimely death of the #SuperLeague, the soccer world does not have time to mourn what could have been!! The show MUST go on! and the show in this case is the Champion’s League. Elena was on vaca so she def missed out on some good games, hopefully I can do both her content and her memes justice.
Memories, all alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days…(this meme is for 3 of you)
In the Champions league….
Well, that didn’t go as planned. I have a lot of takes because I am now listening to this podcast 100% PSG which is just an hour of French people yelling, it’s great. So, PSG came out looking STRONG fresh off a Bayern win (on goal differential but ok). Neymar was attacking like a mad man! Angel aka Dobby was zipping here and there with the set pieces. Idrissa out her in the midfield doin his thang! Ze pirate himself Marquinos scores a goal! Conclusion : dominant first half. But despite that, Pep Guardiola was like no no no we did not fight those league penalites to be eliminated now! He starts pressing the fullbacks leading PSG to fall apart (also because my theory and that of the commentators is PSG plays best when they’re down, give them a lead and they lose their heads).PSG allowed two goals AND Neymar had a small temper tantrum AND Idrissa Gueye got a RED CARD - meltdown. Now, the boys aren’t out of it yet because there is the rematch in Manchester (a city one native once told me, unironically, is the best metropolis in Europe), but they’re behind on goal differential so they need to win by at least 2!! This is NOT good! However, as I just mentioned, PSG tends to pull out all the stops only when they’re about to fall off the cliff, so maybe they’ll be more motivated. They’ll need to figure out a way around the press and get more chances at Ethiad Stadium next week. Regarding the other game, Madrid and Chelsea tied at fun to fun so it’s anybody’s game for the rematch. Tuchel (former PSG coach) continues to perplex Zidane (former/current hero of French football) as he has now played Madrid 5 times with 3 clubs, coming out with 4 draws and a win. Despite an early error by N’golo Kante, Chelsea scored first with a goal from who but everyone’s fav American Pulisic. Madrid answered with Benezma’s goal - also fun fact about Karim Benzema is that this man has not played for the French national team since he was implicated in a blackmail scandal! In any case, despite the tie score, it seemed like Chelsea had the upper hand, so you’ll have to tune in next week for the second half of the semi finals!
In England….
Obviously major focus on UCL this week, but in Premier League news, West Brom continues to fight against relegation and tbh it is NOT looking great as Aston Villa (Prince William’s team) scored 2 goals against them (one coming late in the game) for a draw. Draws do not win Premier League spots!! West Ham (forever blowing bubbles team, I throw in these lil identifiers in case you get confused) fell to Chelsea (to be expected tbh even though I doubt Chelsea was going all out the weekend before the UCL game); they were playing a man down after Balbuena got a red card. Manchester United (who I refer to as the Yankees of soccer) drew at Leeds, causing ManU captain Harry McGuire to YELL at Fred (it is just so comical to me that there is a Brazilian man who goes by Fred, the name is just in it of itself hilarious).Drama! Leicester City beat Crystal Palace 2-1 with what has been described as a “stupendous” goal from Iheanacho. I of course couldn’t see any of these games because flipping NBC PEACOCK.
Like I’m sorry, how could you be mean to this kid?? COME ON
Unrelated to gameplay but a CRAZY development is that the English Premier League, English Football League, Women’s Super League and Women’s Championship will all be doing a 4-day social media BLACKOUT (players, teams and leagues) because of “sustained discriminatory abuse” and lack of action on the part of the tech companies. STRIKE! This is also surprising because as you guys might remember from their uniforms and kneeling and stuff, I thought the Premier League had solved racism already? Jokes aside, players (notably Liverpool boys) have been receiving straight up vitriol and it is not ok, so hopefully this sends a message.
In Spain….
Including this meme by order of the Peaky Blinders
Atlético Madrid and Barça are still battling to be top of the table, and Atlético did not do themselves any favors losing to another Atlético (Balboa) this week. However, Barcelona ALSO boofed it this week because instead of beating Grenada and taking the lead in the title race, they lost 2-1. It must be said Barcelona was one of the teams with the most to gain from the Super League, so I’m sure that loss continues to hit them hard. We will keep them in our thoughts and prayers. Apparently, coach Koeman got sent off for being disrespectful to the officials which is hilarious and means he can’t be on the sidelines for this weekend’s game! You have to love soccer for punishing people better than any other sport. Sevilla beat Grenada earlier in the week, which I only mention because there was a clusterf*ck when the referee blew the whistle 1 minute early and everyone had to come back out and play another minute, very awk. That’s all I got on Spain, I am searching for a La Liga podcast in spanish so I can practice and also learn about soccer, please comment below if you have any ideas!
In Italy…
I admit Elena usually totally handles this one and I have 0 idea what’s going on, but I will do my best. Juventus drew Florentina, which is not great if they hope to make the UCL next year (they’re 4th rn). Inter Milan beat Verona (home of Juliet) and remains at the top of the table, but the two teams below, Atalanta and Napoli, aren’t far behind and are a game in hand. Again, if anyone has a podcast in Italian I can use to practice, let me know!
In Germany….
Tbh this really seems like the most boring league from what I can tell? The big news for this week is Red Bull Leipzig won 2-0 against Stuttgart (a place I have been to in that I went to their train station, it seems fine?), scoring once Stuttgart went a man down due to a red card. I am not learning German since most Germans speak better English than me, so I do not need podcast recs here.
In France…
Lille is back up over Paris at the top of the table following a 3-2 over the OTHER olympique beginning with an L, Lyon (currently 4th). Monaco beat Angers solidifying their third place spot. Right now, Lille, Paris and Monaco are each separated by one point only, and Lille is probably very motivated because everyone is always giving them crap about living in the cold rainy north of France. It will be VERY embarassing for PSG to not make the UCL for next year (and the Qataris will be PISSED) so they MUST beat Lens and ideally rack up a few goals. It will of course be a tough balancing act as they try to ensure fresh players for the UCL semi rematch next week. Regarding other teams, as I mentioned my podcast is called 100% PSG so there is almost 0% other teams but I did want to day that Bordeaux is really falling apart and Marseille has had a bit more traction these days.
So, what did you guys think? How did I do considering I only listen to one sports podcast and Elena has like 6? Were my memes up to par??? Let me know in the comments!
