Week 2 Blues
Because apparently I can’t have nice things!!!! The one time I am actually ABLE TO WATCH A SAINTS GAME (shoutout to the Parkside Lounge of the LES, any homies who want to watch should come through), they played like absolute GARBAGE! We went TOO HARD on week 1! And folks, we were not the only ones.
The Games We Didn’t Watch:
Raiders 26 Steelers 17: Derek Carr is sneakily a good quarterback, and that’s pretty good news for this offense.
49ers 17 Eagles 11: Not an exciting high scoring game, but the grind was real for the 49ers.
Browns 31 Texans 21: This is Cleveland’s YEAR baby forget week one they’ve CHANGED they’re GOOD NOW.
Broncos 23 Jaguars 13: Once again, turns out your only plan cannot be Trevor Lawrence.
Rams 27 Colts 24: The Colts almost snagged an upset, but the Rams held on, and you should be scared of them.
Bills 35 Dolphins 0: Tua has the worst injury luck in the world, Bills were a little show-offy.
Patriots 25 Jets 6: Turns out Sam Darnold was NOT the only issue at the Jets!
Bears 20 Bengals 17: Joe took a beating but held on, Andy Dalton might be done for now. Stop beating up QBs!
Buccaneers 48 Falcons 25: Brady scores five touchdowns juuuust to flex on these hoes.
Cardinals 34 Vikings 33: Minnesota’s defense (All babies thanks to salary cap cuts) has serious work to do.
Titans 33 Seahawks 30: Titans made a HUGE comeback and pulled off a win in Overtime.
Cowboys 20 Chargers 17: Cowboys have talent but penalties on the Chargers really won the day.
Packers 35 Lions 17: Aaron Rodgers might not actually WANT to be here, but he’s playing like he does.
The Games We Did:
Washington 30 Giants 29
Whoo-ee this was a close one! I definitely didn’t fall asleep! Jk I did it was on a Thursday night what more do you wexpect from me! BEFORE I fell asleep this game was already spicy: Saquon Barkley returned from his BIG injury last year (knee? acl? Idk something like that, it was season ending and he had surgery) only for the Giants to lose Nick Gates to big injury (leg). Insert our usual quip about how this sport is deadly here. Other than that, the Giants actually played okay, except for a few sacks, but they failed to CAPITALIZE on their opportunities (early lead and the only turnover of the game) and in the end, Washington was crafty enough to come away with a win. That leaves the G-Men 0-2.
Panthers 26 Saints 7
I don’t REALLY want to talk about it but, well, here we are. Let’s start out by clarifying that the Saints were missing a lot of key defensive players, AND Michael Thomas won’t be back until like week 6, AND half the coaches were isolating for COVID purposes, so already things are not looking great before kickoff. And honestly, we should have quit while we were ahead! Jameis got sacked on like the first drive, and then again later on, threw 2 interceptions and zero touchdowns, and generally didn’t do very much. Our defense left GAPING HOLES and Christian McCaffrey was like, cool I’m gunna have myself a day! I mean if you have him on your fantasy team congrats I guess. Even Sam Darnold looked good, which leaves me wondering, how bad are the Saints if Sam Darnold looks good playing them? On the bright side, their upcoming schedule is semi forgiving, and it’s a lot of northeast games that will actually probably be on my TV, but on the DARK SIDE they SHOULD HAVE WON THIS GAME and the Panthers are like top of the division right now. We can’t be throwing away divisional matchups! At least I don’t think so, I am not totally sold on how that works.
Ravens 36 Chiefs 35
CAN THEY STOP SCHEDULING AWARDS SHOWS AT THE SAME TIME AS FOOTBALL!!! This was actually an INTERESTING game! But I was distracted by the victories of Ted Lasso! Lamar Jackson managed to pull off a win over Patrick Mahomes for the first time EVER in his career in this spicy matchup. The teams went TD for TD, leading to a heck ton of punditry. The Ravens are looking significantly better than they did last week (more than we could say for me!) and though Mahomes did his best to razzle dazzle with the best of them, it wasn’t their day. I am regretting making bold claims about the chiefs winning the superbowl this year, that’s for sure!
